So as every parent has discovered – we can all agree that there is no such thing as a ‘perfect parent’ and as we all no there is no manual for the ‘proper’ way to raise a child/ren. Simply said, there is no right or wrong way of doing things when raising a child. Each parent as we know it will raise their child/ren in a different manner than you will and that is okay – but we must always remember that IT IS OKAY! I say this because we were all raised by a parent(s) and their methods whether right or wrong brought us up to where we are today, but we have also learned from what they may have or have not done for us while we grew up – and we learned from that…in some fashion anyways. We also have grown up in a different generation than our children and so with that the times have changed as have the parenting styles. We ‘newer’ parents are more cognizant of foods, toys, technology, etc that our child/ren are exposed to and that may not have been a huge concern while our parents brought us up. I mean lets face it, how many of your parent(s) put you in the car and didn’t bother telling you to fasten your seat belt? Or, how many of you parent(s) sat you in the car, drove wherever they were going and on their way there they lit a cigarette and sometimes hardly cracking the window because the weather was rainy and/or cold? I mean there are examples like that now that we would NEVER do to our own children now because we are just simply more educated on the effects of second hand smoke or the safety of our children when they are in the car. As a result of being from different generations, the past teachings are also very different than ours so when we raise our children there is and always will be a clashing of ideologies.
Now just like parents all have different ideologies when it comes to raising kids – which is fair and fine; however, they (our parent(s)) do not always remember that we are of a different time and so are our children. I get told countless times that we are too strict with our children, we have too many rules, the list is endless and for some reason they fail to see our side of logic and rational for why we may be like they say ‘too strict’. If we can understand – in some fashion the way they interpret things – than we can only hope they to, would understand that times since our upbringing, have changed a bit since having us, and like every generation after us parenting will be tweaked just a tad. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate them looking out for us and our children and we do appreciate their advice and take everything that works for the upbringing we are giving our children and apply it to their lives. I am not against the way they raised me, but perhaps you can agree that you almost feel criticized for the parenting style you have with your own children. Lets face it, I am sure they got the same treatment from their parents and it is just simply the circle of life I suppose. You can’t help but wish they would entrust us in our ideologies and know that we will take the good things from our upbringing and use them on our own children, and then of course the things that didn’t work well we would learn from them and approach the situation differently when that time comes.
Having these clashing ideologies sometimes makes you feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place because you never want to tell them you think they are wrong – because they aren’t – you just want them to understand that we all have a different ideology in every facet of life – raising kids included. I know playing the mother role, we are a bit more sensitive to their words even though they mean well, but its difficult when they almost make you doubt your parenting style when it comes to your children’s upbringing. I guess you just have to continue reminding yourself NO PARENT IS PERFECT and that EVERYONE – our parents, friends and family included ALL have a different way of parenting, and at the end there is no right or wrong way of bringing up children. In the end we all know and understand that we ALL have our children’s best interest at heart and every parent can attest to that. Now the big question is – will we end up doing the same thing to our children when we are on the other side of that coin when they have their children??
